


Drunk In Love

by manzokuda



Category: Naruto
Genre: Complete, Dorky!Iruka, Dorky!Kakashi, Humor, M/M, Pre-Series, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-09-15
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:16:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2293253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/manzokuda/pseuds/manzokuda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi doesn't drink. Iruka is not a girl. How can something be true and false at the same time? KakaIru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Potentially skewed timeline. Kakashi is 20, Iruka is 16. Potentially incorrect historical facts and non-canon.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I also don't own the song with the same name as the title, nor does this story have any relationship with the song other than the phrasing of the title fitting the subject matter.
> 
> A/N: Hey, so after a super-long break from writing (over 10 years! :O) that hadn't been that productive even while it was actually happening, I decided to write a Victorian Naruto AU (I know, talk about jumping in the deep end). This, however, is not that Victorian Naruto AU. This is the brand new plot bunny that bit me while I was procrastinating on writing another scene because of the hours of research I would have had to do to find obscure Victorian colloquialisms for my characters to say. Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Beta'd by dilapidatedream who made sure what goes on in my head makes sense to the outside world.

Kakashi sat stiffly in the corner of a dingy bar booth, wondering (not for the first time that night) what had possessed him to accept an invitation to go drinking from Shiranui and Namiashi. Especially since he didn't drink. At all.

He gazed moodily down at his tumbler of vodka, then eyed the exit with a calculated look.

"Hey now, none of that, Kakashi-Tai... Senpai!" Genma slapped him on the back heartily, hand quickly retreating as his sloshed brain identified the beginnings of a wave of deadly intent emanating from the blank face of the young man sitting beside him.

If he'd been sober, he would have known better than to continue baiting the masked shinobi, but sober had passed him by six shots and two frou-frou drinks ago and he was feeling pretty good.

"Come on and loosen up a little!" Genma continued, earnest as only someone tipsy could do so well. "We're not on a mission, we're deep inside Fire Country and around allied civvies, and best of all, there's nobody from Konoha here to know if the famous Copy Nin had a little fun! Right, Raidou?"

Raidou, slouched slightly on the other side of Kakashi, nodded slowly. "Yeah, Senpai. Have a drink with us. After this last mission..."

Genma's eyes darkened slightly as he took another swig of his drink.

Kakashi's mind instantly flashed back to the exact scene he knew the others were thinking of. The three of them, fully clad in blood-soaked ANBU gear and perfectly anonymous except for differences in height and bulk, racing down a dim hallway with synchronized grace.

Turning the corner and encountering a young woman, heavily pregnant with child. Dark eyes widened, mouth parted to gasp...

Kakashi forcibly cleared his mind and redirected his two teammates' attention with a subtle hand signal.

_Status report._

When the two of them glanced around looking for whatever caught their ANBU Captain's attention, Kakashi quickly poured the vodka from his glass into a sake bottle that Raidou had emptied earlier in the evening, before he'd switched to harder liquor. He made a few quick hand signs under the table for a suiton jutsu and covered the top of his glass with one hand as water was drawn into the container.

By the time Genma and Raidou turned back from their reconnaissance of the bar to signal an _all clear_ , Kakashi was sitting exactly in the same position as he was before, bored gaze on Genma. The only indication that something had changed was a slight ripple in the water's surface.

Genma's eyes flicked to the movement and he burst out in a wide grin, shadows fading slightly from his eyes. "Did our esteemed leader just tell us he's ready to have fun? You didn't have to go to extremes just to take a sip, even if we _are_ ninja..." Seeming to forget himself, he slapped Kakashi's shoulder again, almost knocking him over.

Kakashi's death glare seemed less effective this time. Maybe it was all the alcohol in Genma's system, muting his survival instinct. Or worse, maybe Kakashi was just getting used to their antics.

"See," Genma continued blithely, ignoring Kakashi completely. "All we have to do is..."

And with a quick glance at Raidou, they both looked away again at the same time, obviously staring across the room so they wouldn't see Kakashi's face if he pulled down his mask. That type of synchronous movement would have been kind of spooky if Kakashi wasn't so used to it.

Kakashi sighed. It was either yield to his teammates' nagging and getting them to stop or have to deal with it for the rest of the night. He eyed the glass full of water, then his two compatriots. Well, he had nothing to lose, did he?

And with the speed he was known for, he swiped the glass, pulled his mask down, downed the contents, and had the mask back in place before the burning in his mouth and throat told him that he'd been tricked.

He suppressed a cough as the burning sensation spread down into his belly, and glared at the snickering duo beside him, who were still turned away but now hunched over, backs quivering with laughter.

"That was great, Raidou! Smooooooth~" Genma giggled.

"Maa," He said, sliding out of the booth and staring down at his idiotic teammates. "You had your fun, so I'm out for the night. Don't drown yourselves."

With that, he left the bar and the pair of hysterical ninja.

\---

Once outside though, he paused for a moment, unsure where to go next. He breathed in the crisp night air and stared up at the cloudy sky. Since the _collateral damage_ from their last mission had gotten all three of them on the T &I psych watch list, the Hokage had put them on temporary leave from active duty. Their enforced break had driven Genma and Kakashi crazy, until Raidou had basically dragged them off to the nearby town of Bara to try their hot springs. Then, Genma had decided that there was nothing better after a soak than a little alcohol in the system to really loosen up... and now here Kakashi was, starting to feel a bit woozy.

Although, he had to admit (in the corner of his mind that wasn't miffed at his teammates pulling a fast one on him) that what they just did was a pretty good example of teamwork in action... After all, without even a word said, those two had come up with a plan, Genma had distracted him with that slap on the back that pretty much knocked him over, and Raidou had done a quick switch.

Not too shabby.

Swaying slightly, his face slightly flushed above the edge of his mask, Kakashi strolled lazily down the street, enjoying the cool breeze against his warm skin. It was a nice night, long past the time when most civilians would be outside. He skirted past an open doorway, warm lantern light and the sound of raucous laughter spilling out. Crossing a small arched bridge, he leaned over the edge briefly to look down at the quiet stream flowing beneath him.

"Oops," He mumbled to himself with a small chuckle as he lost his balance and tumbled over, catching himself with a chakra-filled palm sticking to the bottom of the bridge and using the momentum of the swing to hurl himself back over the railing.

Kakashi patted the railing lightly and looked out at the empty streets. They looked very... intriguing, he thought, and decided to go for a nice, refreshing run. After all, that Maito kid had challenged him to a race around Konoha just before they left for Bara. He would make sure he won the challenge as soon as he returned. There was no way he would lose to that bowl-headed weirdo!

His hair bounced merrily and gleamed white and silver as he ran down the streets. Left, right, right, over a low wall, turn the corner and...

"Ooof!"

Limbs sprawled and tangled, warmth of a body underneath him, the scent of... citrus and honey? He sniffed deeply again, masked face pressed against the curve of a neck. Yup, citrus and honey.

"Um... excuse me..."

Kakashi lifted his head to inspect the source of the gentle, tentative voice. He had been feeling quite comfy, but he was a curious nin who had to make great sacrifices to satisfy his curiosity, such as depriving himself of his sweet-smelling warm pillow.

Big brown eyes fringed in long lashes, slightly parted full lips, and a slender figure enveloped in a fancy-looking kimono... Even with the white face paint that signified a geisha obscuring her features, Kakashi could see underneath the underneath.

"Oh... Hello, Pretty," He said, right before he passed out in her arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Kakashi doesn't drink. Iruka is not a girl. How can something be true and false at the same time? KakaIru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all for reading and I definitely appreciate the alerts! Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter... I was busy pondering the topic of sex. ;) The original version of this chapter (which is posted on FF.net) doesn't have any... it just fades to black. However, you can thank dilapidatedream for requesting all the raunchy details, since without her persuasion the 'missing scene' would never have been written. For those who are old enough to read it and have any interest, have at it! For those who like it clean, you know where to find the PG-13 version of Part 2 (hint, it's on FF.net ;D), and I think the story still works without it.
> 
> A/N 2: In the beginning of this chapter, Iruka mentions being mistaken for an “onsen geisha.” According to wikipedia, onsen geisha are the lower-class geisha who work in hot springs and usually sell themselves instead of their artistic talents. Since Bara is a hot spring vacation destination, a lot of people seem to be confused.
> 
> A/N 3: True story, it took me a few seconds to randomly think of a Japanese girl's name for Iruka's cover identity. Then, I had to look it up to make sure it didn't have some sort of weird meaning. Turns out that “Shion” is also a homonym for a word meaning “the kindness of a teacher,” which I thought apropos.
> 
> Onward!
> 
> Beta'd by dilapidatedream (except for the sex scene... all mistakes are my own!)

~ Part 2 ~

"Is everything alright, Shion-san?"

Iruka wasn't sure what type of karma he'd incurred in a previous life, but he must have done something heinous to deserve this.

He had Copy Ninja Sharingan Kakashi drooling in his lap, a suspicious guard behind his back, he was in the midst of a delicate balancing act of deception, and all while dressed up like a girl! In makeup!

Why had Sandaime assigned him this mission again? Although it hadn't seemed like it would be too difficult at the time, in all actuality he had just become a chuunin a month ago. He definitely admitted that there was a lot he still needed to learn, but other than the dressing-up-like-a-girl bit, it hadn't looked too hard. Just go undercover as a maiko in Bara under the supervision of the client--the proprietress of a geisha house--find out why her business had tanked recently, and deliver the information to her. It was a basic C-Class mission. The only downside, other than the dressing-up-like-a-girl bit was that it was expected to take a few weeks to complete.

And he had done okay so far, really. After looking at the Hokage suspiciously for a bit--how likely was it that ALL the potential female candidates were unavailable at the time??--he had grudgingly accepted after Sandaime buttered him up about how perfect he was for the role, after his experience as a prankster sneaking around, his quick thinking and his youth (read: underdeveloped girly figure). He had managed to charm all the occupants of the geisha house and assimilated easily into the flow and banter of daily life as a maiko.

Even while having to deal with assholes who thought he was _that_ kind of onsen geisha, it wasn't all that bad. All he had to do to dissuade those types of clients who thought they would get a little more 'service' than stated was to make a slight hand motion to the bodyguard assigned to him, and the client would find himself summarily escorted to the street and the door firmly closed after him.

But really, three days into his mission and freaking Sharingan Kakashi had to throw a wrench in it?

"Shion-san?" The guard called again from the doorway of the entertainment hall. Iruka had just stepped outside after his last client of the night thanked him for his lovely playing and slipped him a large tip. Iruka was just glad that playing the koto was similar enough to playing a guitar that he had picked it up relatively easily.

Iruka snapped to attention. "Ah... Sorry, Amano-san. Are you done for the night as well?"

At the other man's gruff confirmation, Iruka looked down at the man passed out peacefully in his arms.

No matter how annoyed he was by the interruption in his plans, Hatake-san was an important member of his village, and a fellow shinobi that was currently vulnerable and needed to get to safety... right?

Right.

Iruka sighed. "Amano-san, can I trouble you for a favor? Can you please help me carry him back home? I can't leave him out here..."

Of course, he could have carried Hatake-san back himself, but with a witness and him pretending to be a civilian girl... he had to hold back.

"Shion-san," Amano Akio said slowly. "This man is drunk. He cannot be allowed to be alone with you. He could... take advantage of you!"

Iruka thought quickly. "Don't worry, Amano-san!" He said with a light laugh, his expression slightly bashful which he let fade slowly into a faint bitterness. "He's my idiot brother, and you can be sure I'll scold him for drinking too much tomorrow when he wakes up with a terrible headache. After our parents died, I had to take care of him, even though he's the older one! Please, won't you help me?"

He looked up at the other man with pleading eyes.

 

\---

 

Ten minutes later, Akio was slinging Kakashi's limp form onto Iruka's bed, quickly saying goodnight and shuffling awkwardly out of "Shion's" room.

Iruka put his hands on his hips and stared down at the other man snoozing so peacefully in his bed, limbs sprawled all over the place. Now, where was _he_ going to sleep?

With a sigh, Iruka pulled an extra futon and pillow out of the storage compartment and laid it on the floor. It wouldn't be too bad, he was used to sleeping on worse for missions where he had to make camp outdoors. He went over to the corner washbasin to clean his face, scrubbing at the stubborn bits of white makeup that refused to wash away with a hand towel.

He returned to the bedside to look at the current occupant of his bed, noting the crazy hairstyle and suspiciously masked face. Why was he masked, anyway? Was he hiding a hideous face underneath? Scars? Buck-teeth? Pimples?

Iruka tried to imagine Kakashi with anything other than a generic face. Freckles?

No, he couldn't see it.

Gaze trailing down the other man's body, Iruka paused at the sandaled feet. He caught his lower lip between his teeth and worried it slightly as he wondered whether he should help remove them or not. On one hand, it would be more comfortable for his fellow shinobi and would help keep his bed clean for the rest of the mission. On the other hand... he was Sharingan Kakashi, and his reflexes were sure to be sharp. But then again, Amano-san had pretty much lugged him all this way without a twitch from him, so...

Iruka leaned forward to unfasten the sandals.

Later, he would wonder whether he had even managed to touch the other man's ankle before he was suddenly rolled and pinned to the bed, staring up in shock at a sleepy-looking Copy Nin.

 

\---

 

Kakashi startled awake instinctively, blinking down at the warm bundle beneath him. He was hit with a sudden feeling of deja vu as he gazed down at those lovely warm brown eyes. He recognized those eyes, even though the tanned skin under the face paint that was now revealed made the girl look a lot different (but better), Kakashi thought.

"I don't like wearing it either," The girl huffed (delightfully!) to Kakashi's (unspoken?) comment.

“You shouldn't,” He said, eye curved into a smile, reaching out to lightly caress the smooth-edged scar that traversed her nose and otherwise unmarred skin. The rich crimson and gold fabric of her kimono made her skin glow.

"Cuuuuute..." He murmured, still smiling happily.

She flushed deeply, seeming to realize for the first time the predicament she found herself in. "Um, Shinobi-san, do you mind...?"

Instead of retreating, Kakashi found himself moving closer, face nuzzling into that delicious curve of neck he had previously scented. He could have spent the entire night just resting in the comfort of that warm spot.

"You smell really good," He sighed.

The warmth of the other's blush heating skin only made the smell of citrus and honey intensify. Kakashi was starting to feel dizzy.

He could vaguely hear the girl protesting, but his senses were focused solely on that delicate curve.

He really wanted to taste...

"Aarg-eep!" The girl garbled.

Kakashi leaned back slightly to look at her blushing face. "Aarg-eep?" He repeated.

"I really meant 'Eep!'" The girl replied apologetically. "It just came out wrong."

"Well, then," Kakashi said.

"MMMPHH!"

 

\---

 

Iruka wasn't really sure _what_ was going on anymore, he thought dazedly as a pair of warm, slightly chapped (bare!) lips pressed against his. He wasn't sure where the other man's mask had gone, and this was the perfect time to open his eyes (when exactly had they closed?) and find out what was really under that mask, but...

Oh.

OH.

Well, when put that way, it _definitely_ made sense that parting their lips would make the kiss wetter and...

Iruka felt himself melting into Kakashi's embrace, his mind's protests growing fainter until they slowly faded into silence. He was immersed in the feeling of strong hands sliding to his waist gently but firmly. One of Kakashi's hands took a detour up to stroke the messy remains of his hair-do, nimbly undoing the intricate hairpins and letting the entire mass of his hair down in a dark wave.

Kakashi deepened the kiss, tongue teasing the inside of Iruka's mouth. When Iruka's tongue flicked back in response, Kakashi groaned and pressed closer, their bodies lining up just right until Iruka could feel the heat and pressure of Kakashi's desire for him against his own.

Kakashi stilled, then pulled slightly away. Iruka opened his eyes and reached out in a mute protest.

Kakashi was looking at him, his expression oddly blank. Iruka was distracted with his first sight of the other's face--He was right! It was generically attractive, with only a single vertical scar trailing down from his covered eye--and the slowly fading muzzy heat obscuring his higher thoughts, although something in his mind was trying to let him know about something he had forgotten... something about himself...

Oh, shit. Iruka's eyes widened and tiny tendrils of panic started to grow. How had he forgotten that he was undercover? As a -girl-?! And Kakashi had just felt how much of a girl he -wasn't-...

Iruka was just about to push Kakashi away and figure out some sort of excuse to salvage his mission, when--

"So pretty," Kakashi smiled, diving back in.

 

\---

 

Kakashi kissed down Iruka's bare chest slowly, each kiss lingering on his skin with a flick of tongue tasting it. It both embarrassed him and excited him at the same time. It was safe to say that Iruka had no practical experience in sex other than the tales that Mizuki and Kotetsu told him of their own exploits, and some of that was too unbelievable to be true!

Iruka had been comfortable alone. He hadn't really felt the need to seek companionship other than that of his friends, and he was unaccustomed to much physical contact with others outside of sparring and playful punches and slaps from his acquaintances.

All this intimate touch was blowing him away. He was immersed in heat, flushed with it and his skin shivering with sensitivity to every delicate touch that Kakashi bestowed upon him.

“Aah!” He gasped as Kakashi latched onto his nipple and gave a sharp suck.

Kakashi gave him a teasing look from his half-lidded eye and said, “You can touch me too, you know!”

Iruka flushed, and irritated by his awkward impression of a doormat thus far, rolled Kakashi over until he was in Iruka's previous position, Iruka straddling his waist and grinning down at him. The tiny quirk to the left side of Kakashi's lips was the only indicator that Kakashi had allowed Iruka to move him so easily.

Iruka huffed out a breath, allowing his body to cool down slightly as he shrugged out of the kimono, the folds of fabric pooling around them. He flung the kimono off the side of the bed, along with the obi (how _had_ Kakashi removed the intricately tied knots of his obi so quickly without him even noticing?!). Iruka did _not_ want Haruka-san to ask him tomorrow when she came by to pick up the laundry exactly _how_ he had gotten his kimono so dirty...

Turning back to the other man, Iruka realized that unfairly, Kakashi was still completely dressed! Without even realizing that his bottom lip had stuck itself out in a pout, Iruka reached out to swiftly divest him of his vest and shirt. Unlike the kimono and obi, Iruka at least had more experience in removing a uniform.

Kakashi was grinning widely by now, showing a couple of crooked incisors as he crossed his arms behind his head and sprawled out beneath him.

“What?” Iruka grumbled, feeling suddenly like the butt of some hidden joke.

Kakashi just shook his head slowly, his smile softening slowly. Iruka wasn't sure, but it looked almost... affectionate. Like how his mom used to look at him when he'd done something particularly silly as a little kid, and wasn't that thought a bit weird in conjunction with their current actions...

Deciding to let it go for the time being, Iruka slid down Kakashi's legs so that he could reach out slightly unsteady fingers to slowly unfasten Kakashi's pants. He kept his eyes on Kakashi's face, refusing to look away even though he was probably turning as red as a tomato from his unexpected boldness. His focus was pinpointed on Kakashi's visible eye, gaining encouragement from the warmth and lack of judgment in it. He barely knew how he got the other's pants down, only that they got stuck on Kakashi's sandals (which he had never gotten off, had he!).

Kakashi chuckled. Suddenly annoyed at how Kakashi was finding him so entertaining, Iruka slapped Kakashi's thigh and shushed him, reaching down to pull off his sandals with unnecessary force.

“Oww...” Kakashi said, giving him puppy eyes. Since there was only one eye, Iruka was able to withstand the power of that mournful look... mostly.

What Iruka  _couldn't_ really withstand was the fact that they were both naked...together. And being a healthy teenage boy who had just discovered the joys of intimacy with another person, he was easily persuaded to drop his annoyance for more of that incredible feeling.

His temporary indignation burning away with a sudden onrush of reawakening heat, Iruka slid up Kakashi's body to instigate another kiss. Kakashi's arms reached out to envelop him in warmth and a strange sense of security.

Time passed strangely. They were hard against each other, bare skin to bare skin, mouth to mouth. Iruka found himself underneath Kakashi again... it was beginning to be a habit. Kakashi's fingers were slicked with a bit of face cream swiped from the bedside table that must have been left by the previous occupant of Iruka's room, and OH.

That was a weird sensation, fingers inside him, slick and touching him in the most intimate of ways. Iruka shifted slightly, unsure whether he wanted to move toward that sensation or away from it. He bit his lower lip as he tried to think about—okay, that was another finger—

“Ready, Pretty?”

Irritation suddenly surging back to the forefront of his mind—after all, how many times could Iruka be expected to ignore such ridiculous comments?—he rolled his eyes and shoved Kakashi's shoulder, and ouch, probably not a good idea when fingers were still inserted in a delicate spot.

“I'll show _you_ where to put your 'Pretty!'” He growled, dark eyes glaring.

Kakashi burst into drunken giggles at that point and said, “Don't worry, I know where it goes,” and pushed into him with one smooth motion.

Iruka somehow slapped his forehead in dismay with one hand and covered his mouth to stifle a cry with the other at the same time.

“You are...un...believable!” Iruka gasped when he caught his breath again.

Kakashi was rocking into him, and Iruka was trying to move with him but the rhythm wasn't quite right. Kakashi's face was pressed into the side of his neck again, and he was mumbling something like, “So tight...!” and “See, I got it...”

Iruka tuned him out again and pushed up as Kakashi pushed down. Something sparked deep inside and it was too much sensation to comprehend, and then they were moving together in sync and Iruka had never understood that expression “like fireworks going off” until now, but it was pretty damn perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Kakashi doesn't drink. Iruka is not a girl. How can something be true and false at the same time? KakaIru.

~Part 3~

 

Iruka awoke the next morning with an ache in his ass and the knowledge that the masked ninja would be long gone, and indeed he was. Finding himself alone in a messy, sunlit bed that smelled like sex was surprisingly not weird.

Considering he had lost his virginity to a veritable stranger who was pretty much intoxicated at the time, it was nice to have some time to think about the entire experience without having to face the other person. Iruka had enjoyed last night immensely (even Kakashi's ridiculousness was somehow oddly charming... that bastard...)— but he didn't know whether the strange comfort in Kakashi's presence last night would continue in the morning.

And really, the idea that he had taken a sudden turn from the corner of Straight and Narrow toward the Gay Side... was something he needed to take some time with.

It wasn't that strange to find same-sex pairings in a hidden village. That wasn't the point of his concern. After all, the ninja lifestyle was the epitome of “live and let live.” It was rarer to find a ninja (outside of the clans) who had chosen to marry and have children, than to find one who had a very casual approach to sex and companionship. However, Iruka had always declined when that type of situation came up with his friends and fellow shinobi. He had never really thought of it that way, but he supposed he'd been holding out for some sort of true relationship. Something meaningful.

He had always thought in the back of his mind that he would have children one day. He had always had a way with children younger than himself, and loved to see their faces light up when they finally understood something that they had been struggling with. Growing up as an orphan, his dreams were full of having a family of his own.

This was not to say that he thought this...thing...with Kakashi would go anywhere. Honestly, he was supposed to be undercover, and who knew how much Kakashi remembered of last night. Most likely, if they ever saw each other in Konoha, the other man wouldn't even recognize his face. Prior to the night before, Iruka had only known of Kakashi's appearance and exploits through the rumor mill. He could safely say that he had never remembered seeing Kakashi in person while he was in Konoha.

Even though he hadn't really had any expectations, Iruka admitted he was a little bit depressed at the thought that this memorable first experience would at most be a hazy memory for Kakashi.

“Think on the positive side,” He said aloud to himself. “At least you've completely avoided the awkward morning after scene where he'll fake a smile and make up some silly excuse before teleporting away.”

“Shion-san, are you awake?”

Iruka startled off the bed, sweeping his kimono off the floor and shrugging it on like a robe. He wrapped it around his body and held it in place with one hand before he went to open the door.

“Oh, Haruka-san! I'm sorry... I must have overslept. I'll bring my laundry down a little later, if that's alright?”

The little old woman standing before him smiled and patted him on the arm lightly. “Don't worry about it, dear. I'll just come back a little bit later for your things... these creaky bones can still climb a flight of stairs, you know!” She looked him up and down and tutted. “You _must_ have been tired if you slept in that beautiful thing! Creases are so hard to get out of this material...”

Iruka reached up and scratched his nose, flushing slightly. “Sorry, Haruka-san...” He mumbled, feeling a bit like a scolded child.

“Where did that brother of yours get to?” She peered inside with her head tilted like a curious bird. “Akio-chan told me that he helped you carry him off the street. Such a good grandson, my Akio! Now, if it had been my brother Sanosuke, I'd have left that geezer to sleep it off 'til morning and catch a cold! Sometimes men need to learn from their mistakes, don't you think?” Haruka-san giggled mischievously.

“Oh... I kicked him out early this morning. I didn't want him to be late for work, the slacker! Haha!” Iruka replied with an awkward little laugh.

“Was everything alright last night though? I just talked to Chisato-san from the room next to yours, you know, and she said she heard some strange noises coming from your room last night... I hope your brother wasn't too rowdy...you know how they get when they're drunk...”

_Kami-sama save me from nosy females_ , Iruka thought to himself, potential excuses racing through his brain.  _Don't blush, don't blush!_ “My brother... he has terrible nightmares,” Iruka said softly, his voice quiet. He arranged his features into a suitably pitiful expression. “Ever since our parents died... and they get worse when he drinks...”

_Please, let this mission be over soon,_ Iruka prayed.

 

\---

 

Eight weeks later, Iruka was settling in for the final stretch of his mission room shift. Just one more hour, then he could go home.

It being only his third time working in the mission room, Kiyo-san was hesitant to leave him alone even though she had been battling a severe migraine all shift. However, with a few gentle encouragements and the promise that everything would be fine, she had been persuaded to go home a little early.

Iruka leaned forward in his chair, resting his forearms on the desk and barely resisting putting his head down. He knew that if his head touched a relatively flat surface, he'd be out like a light in no time. How professional would that be?

Who knew that studying for the Academy teaching exam would be this difficult? Long nights reviewing standard training forms and theory that he hadn't thought of in years, all because of a casual comment that Sandaime had made...

His last mission had ended successfully and without further incident three weeks after That Night, and he had ended up in an impromptu game of shogi with Sandaime Hokage after turning in his mission report.

At first he had thought Sandaime had somehow caught the brief mention of Kakashi that he had waffled a bit on before his blunt honesty had forced him to include in the mission details. However, Sandaime had merely ushered him in to his usual seat in the corner of the Hokage's office and poured him a cup of tea.

And after the Sandaime had utterly demolished him--and all his wooden troops--he had mentioned that a teaching position had opened up in the Academy.

Which led to Iruka's current exhaustion as he leaned a little further forward, his head dipping down slightly. Even his perky ponytail was beginning to droop. Just a little longer...

"Yo."

Iruka's head jerked up. His eyes widened. The other's eye widened.

Iruka started to blush madly. He couldn't look away.

That single eye glinted predatorily.

"Maa..." Kakashi said. "What's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?"

 

\---

 

~Epilogue~ (with Bonus Kakashi POV!)

 

After That Night, Kakashi had spent a few days mentally knocking himself on the head for his lapse in judgment and abandoned his ANBU teammates to hurry back to Konoha to spend some time in front of the memorial with his old team.

"He was really cute," Kakashi said after several days of silence.

"And he was warm," He added after another period of time had passed.

"I felt..." He trailed off slowly as the twilight faded to dark.

 

\---

 

Five days later, he stood in front of a puzzled Sandaime as he handed in his resignation from ANBU.

"Are you certain?" Sandaime asked, his expression strangely gentle.

"Yes."

"Then I hope you enjoy your retirement," The Hokage replied with a puff of smoke from his pipe. "Your timing is good, though. A mission just came in, A-Class, that I could use just your skills for..."

Kakashi thought he hid his disappointment well as he left through the window clutching the mission scroll in one hand.

 

\---

 

_Kakashi is surrounded by the scent and the warmth of his Pretty all around him. That parted, gasping mouth, those deep brown eyes looking straight at him, gaze seeming to penetrate all the way through him, dark with unquenchable longing. He is purely in the moment, except it's nothing like he's used to. Instead of blood and death, the other is thrumming with life, his entire being wrapped around Kakashi, and he is Burning. Up._

 

Kakashi startled awake, body humming with tension. He let out a silent huff of air as he slowly forced his body to relax, one muscle at a time.

He couldn't wait until this mission was over.

 

\---

 

Nearly four weeks after that, Kakashi's impatience got a hold of him as he found himself making a long detour on his way back from the A-Class. Having already sent Pakkun back with the time-sensitive intel, he was in no rush to return to Konoha as he entered the town of Bara on a personal mission this time.

His pace quickened with thoughts of a sweet tanned face and big brown eyes that wouldn't leave his mind.

Ten minutes later, he slumped outside the geisha house dejectedly. Bull lay at his feet looking decidedly mournful as well.

According to the proprietress, "Shion" had quit almost two months ago, and the scent trail was long cold.

 

\---

 

Six days later, Kakashi was out of excuses to delay turning in his mission report, which, although messy and stained with unknown substances, was (mostly) complete. Any longer, and he was sure that the next mission the Hokage assigned him would be to muck out some stables...with the horses still inside.

Teleporting into the nearly empty mission room, he casually greeted the slumped figure before him.

As their eyes met, Kakashi figured this moment would be the closest thing to a blessing he would get from his old team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This story is now complete! There will be no more... at least not until I get all my other story ideas out of the way first. Really, this story was just an excuse for me to write AccidentallyDrunk!Kakashi, who only needed a little... encouragement... to discover his happy inner pervert (much to Iruka's dismay!)
> 
> Thanks again for reading, reviewing, and all the assorted alerts and favs! I truly appreciate all of it, and please feel free to drop me a line if you enjoyed the story! Any future updates and projects will be up on my profile. I'm leaning toward working on my Pirate!Kakashi idea, even though my Victorian!AU is still in progress. I'm not planning on posting until I see the end of the story in sight... just because I know how it feels when stories are never finished. 'Til next time!


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